Tuesday, 20 May 2008

  • Hello Blog World

        After a couple of years into blogging, I haven't blogged anything about reasons why I blog. That just makes it weird to keep me coming back to old blogs I used to make my online diary. Yes, I knew the danger of exposing my private life and all but it just isn't enough for me to stop typing in my thoughts on-line. I myself ask the question why blogs have to be online but I also have a personal answer. The shallowest possible reason I can think of is the sharing purpose. It's really good to share something worth reading. Or if not, at least to share a part of your daily life which may interest others.
        When I started blogging, my friends put up their blogs for their friends to read as well. I can't remember why I didn't do the same. I didn't publicly announce my blog(s) eversince I started posting and so none of my friends actually read them (that I'm not 100% sure of). I was just surprised when a classmate of mine in high school told me that she's been reading my posts. She happened to be someone I'm not that open to. I didn't even dare to ask her which blog she had read because of the fear that she might ask about the others and read them as well. Pathetic, I know. I made a blog but didn't want anyone to read it. hahah. It's just so ironic that I want to tell about my life yet I don't want anyone to listen. Maybe I was just to scared. Yes, I was. I was scared of comments from friends. No one would really know me if not because of my blogs. No one would really understand me and care to think of what I feel. I am just so different when I blog and when I speak. I don't speak what I blog but I blog what I don't speak.
       
    Friends who knew and have met me would probably tell me "yes naman! gumaganyan" by the time they would read all (and I repeat all) my posts. Unlike when I am blogging and I take control of everything that should be said, I speak less. I speak straight to the point where people can't read thoughts I keep in between. I say "can't" and I mean "cannot" because I intend them to. Maybe some of my closest friends know but I can't really say. It's just not my nature to burst out my feelings orally. I only do that with my best friend, Cathy. I know I might be unfair to my friends because this might come out like I don't trust them but it's nothing like that at all. I'm just not up for some drama personally when we speak face-to-face. I'm that jolly person who always carry a smile and release a laugh every now and then. That's me when I'm with them. That's me when I'm not thinking of things and just barely enjoying the present situation.
        This and my first and official blog at Xanga.com are personal blogs from the start. I told about my day and updated what's happening in my life every now and then. I'm just too confident that no one I know would actually read every single word. Because if someone does, his/her perception of my character might change completely.
        Now, why did I really choose to blog if I didn't want to share it with friends but with others? I can't answer that directly but something just led me into sharing my life to others. I also ask myself the same question: Why is it such a big deal to me if the readers are my friends or not?
        I blog because I want to express. I blog because I want to share. And I blog on-line because I love typing. It keeps me focused on the things I want to say because words just flow in the screen just in time as I think of them.

    edit: Sorry, I wasn't able to edit that. I was about to post this on my other blog but then I decided to place it here and so I forgot to change that part.

Comments (4)

  • bentbrokenandtorn

    blogging is a complicated thing for me. when i first started, i used it only to post my creative writing as a way to store it online in case my computer crashed. but before long i found myself ranting about my thoughts and then about my days. soon it was nothing more than a diary that was open to the world to read. so the evolution of my blog is kind of interesting to see from begining to end. but i have written so much that i doubt anyone would ever have the time or the will to read every blog i have ever posted. i mostly post for myself, but i do enjoy feedback.


    i would be pretty unsettled to find that certain people i know in person were reading my blog. some of the stuff i post would be shocking.

  • ayelmonceller

    @bentbrokenandtorn - I see you understood me. I didn't think anyone would. hahah. Oh well, there goes the pessimistic me again. I made this entry because someone in school commented something about me using English as the language on my posts. I was kind of offended because he mistook me for being someone I am not. Like, I was being someone else when I blog. I guess most of my friends really don't know what's going on my thoughts at all. hahah. Thanks. ^_^

    Btw, I edited something in this post.

  • gheyb

    We have the same feeling towards blogging... We both blog to express, and we both love typing. haha! But the only difference is that my friends know my blog. Well, not all of them... Just the closest that I've got.


    Iba kasi yung feeling na nalalaman ng friends mo ang tunay na ikaw. Minsan nga nashoshock sila eh, haha! But I think it's a good way to strengthen your friendship. Kasi ba naman, HS friends ko lang nakakaalam ng Xanga ko. Haha!!! :)

  • ayelmonceller

    @gheyb - Late reply.heheh sori. Yeah, kaya nga I want them to start reading my posts from now on. Hahah. Ako rin ibang friends ko lang nakakaalam nito kaya I'm starting to spread this link to them. ^_^

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